Real talk: How my husband and I decided on his vasectomy
Editor’s Note: We know not every partnership is the same and not every person has access to the same options. This piece by CityMom Kira is intended exactly as written: To share a glimpse into her partnership and how they arrived at the option that best suited them.
Have you ever walked up to your partner and said, “Hey honey, would you get a vasectomy or (insert procedure here)?” It sounds easy, but when my husband and I decided to stop having children, I couldn’t do it. Instead of kickstarting that conversation, I convinced myself that I should bear the burden of pregnancy prevention by trying various temporary methods for myself.
I had not worried about birth control in nearly a decade while we were trying to conceive. However, after our daughter was born in 2018, I knew this would be our last pregnancy. I went into postpartum convinced that breastfeeding (I breastfed our daughter for 14 months) was a great method of birth control. Except, it's actually not that effective.
LEARN MORE: Check out the Planned Parenthood website for an overview of various birth control methods.
I initially tried a non-hormonal IUD. My doctor helped me make the hormone-free decision since I had pre-eclampsia and a heart condition. Can I be honest? I hated every minute of having an IUD and had it removed after just one year. I could not take birth control pills due to my medical history, so instead, I used a family planning app to predict when I might be ovulating. It was a very cumbersome process!
When I needed to switch medication for a separate health problem, my doctor explained that I should not attempt to get pregnant on this medication as it could cause harmful side effects for myself as well as a baby. That conversation was the push I needed to ask my husband to get a vasectomy. We had talked about vasectomy versus tubal ligation several times. My husband was initially hesitant about a vasectomy. He was concerned about the pain and didn’t really understand the process. In consulting with my therapist this past year, her advice was simply clear: Be honest. I didn't want a tubal ligation; I wanted my husband to have a vasectomy.
SHARE WITH YOUR PARTNER: A full overview of vasectomy treatment and information.
I explained my concerns about having surgery. We looked at places to have vasectomies with great reviews and reached out to friends and family to relay how relatively simple the recovery process was. I promised I would be there every step of the way if he would go to the consultation. He agreed. After more discussion and reassurance, my husband had a vasectomy. When people ask him about it he likes to them that I went through a lot for our family planning. And now I don’t have to take pills or have an uncomfortable IUD. As he often says: It was his turn to take one for the team.
