The "Remember When" Game...

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When my husband and I are reaching our domestic breaking point we like to play a little game called “Remember when…”

For instance, when my three year old is screaming because I cut her chicken into bites rather than strips, or when my one year old decides he will eat bananas and only bananas, we say: “Remember when we could sleep WHENEVER we wanted?” Our eyes glaze over; we become immune to the constant noise of a house with children, and we wistfully reminisce about this glorious golden age in our marriage when we were carefree and childless. “Why did we ever get out of bed?” I ask my husband “Why weren’t we constantly napping?” he replies. Alas, this game can devolve into a slippery slope, so we dare not linger too long. A spoonful of peas to the face is usually a sufficient call back to reality.

Disclaimer: I really do love my children. They are the beat of my heart and my greatest accomplishments to date. HOWEVER, I miss me sometimes, and I miss my husband when he was just my husband and not also a father. Because although having children can be incredibly rewarding, it can also be incredibly draining. My life is no longer exclusively mine. So, reminiscing over a trip we took or fondly recalling how fun and crazy we used to be is therapeutic for us. Here are a few of our favorite remember whens:

  • Remember when the ambient light for sexy time used to be candles instead of a baby monitor?

  • Remember when we used to be cool? Now we know the lyrics to almost every Disney Jr. theme song and sing them loudly.

  • Remember when “sleeping in” meant waking up at noon, not 9am?

  • Remember when boobs were just for fun?

  • Remember when 9pm did not feel like a perfectly appropriate bedtime?

All this remembering really got me thinking about what I truly miss, and what I do not miss about our fun, former lives. So, here is my attempt to quantify these feelings:

Five things I miss the MOST about life before children:

  1. Sleep—Anywhere, everywhere, all the time. Deep, uninterrupted, drool on your pillow, dead to the world sleep.

  2. Money—So much disposable income. Why in the world wasn’t I rich? Oh that’s right, I drank it away.

  3. Cleanliness—I didn’t appreciate the lack of vomit, urine, and cheerio on everything I own.

  4. Spontaneity—Wake up in the morning and take an impromptu trip the beach. Drinking in the afternoon. Answering to no one but yourself. The freedom!

  5. Day Sex—Sigh. I am not brave enough to risk the possible psychological damage to myself and my children.

 

Five things I miss the LEAST about life before children:

  1. Hangovers—I would rather birth several children sans medicine than experience today a hangover from my 20s. Ouch.

  2. Existential angst—I spent a lot of time pre-babies wallowing and dwelling on what it all meant. Philosophical musings are important, but for me this just became depressing.

  3. Irresponsibility—Being drunk and crazy all the time starts looking less cute and more pathetic. I am not arguing that childbirth naturally makes people more responsible, but I was ready for the next phase of my life.

  4. Asking to hold other people’s babies—Frankly, it’s just awkward. Now I have two of my own to snuggle endlessly.

  5. Too much money—Alright, you caught me. This is just absurd, and as hard as I tried I just couldn’t think of another bad thing about my pre-baby life!

Would I change a single thing about my life right now? No. But, remembering who I was as a person before becoming a mother is important. Remembering who we were as a couple before becoming parents is important. So if we get a little wistful for the glory days of our youth, so be it. I would like to think that there will be spontaneity and day sex again in our future. Until then, you can find us doing a pretty dynamic family version of “Let It Go”.

 


Meet The Author

Creative Media Editor

A recent transplant to the Midwest, Megan still gets excited by the first snow flurries of the season. Although her husband’s job as a private school administrator brought them to the area, Megan feels more at home in Indy every day. While she isn’t chasing after her two children or working her day job as a social worker, Megan enjoys drinking craft beer, photography, playing soccer, and fantasizing about all of the Pinterest projects she will one day complete

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