The Potty Training War Wages On…

I just realized that my one year anniversary of beginning potty training with my daughter Annabelle just passed in late April and I’m amazed at how fast the calendar months flew by. Notice I say it’s the anniversary of the beginning of potty training, and not when we potty train-ED. 


We didn’t have the magical 3-day experience that I’ve heard about from fairies in faraway lands. Nope. Because God blessed me with a pretty good amount of patience, he gave me a toddler that didn’t want to get it for like six freaking months. I died a slow death, along with my patience. 

Let's not even talk about nighttime potty training. 

OK, fine, I'm embarrassed to admit that we just moved Annabelle out of nighttime Pull-Ups about a month ago, just shy of the one year mark. I read that nighttime training can take longer, like even a year, so I honestly just sort of got used to the Pull-Ups and didn't try to phase them out sooner. The Internet gave me a year so I took it.
"At our recent 18-month checkup I asked my pediatrician when I should start potty-training my son, and he wrote me a prescription for a chill pill." 


I almost can’t even talk about my potty training experience with Annabelle without wanting to curl up into the fetal position on a cold floor. I mean, at the risk of giving TMI, Annabelle tested every patient cell in my body with the whole pooping in her panties thing. And naturally she would time her #2’s as we’re walking out the door running late to something. I actually started to take it personally. WHY DOES SHE HATE ME SO MUCH?

Thank God we’ve made it through the storm, for the most part, and I lived to tell the tale. It’s O-V-E-R, I’m FREE! No more potty training for a while…. Er, at least I thought.

Potty training round two (shoot me now)

A couple weeks ago a fellow mom posted a pic on Facebook of her son potty training at 20 months and I literally started to choke on my wine. This can’t be happening already. My son is 18 months and it just dawned on me that we have entered into the potty training window. 

No! There’s NO. EFFING. WAY I’m ready for round two. My heart can’t take it. She has planted the seed in my head. I wasn’t even THINKING about potty training and now it’s on the mother freaking brain. 

At our recent 18 month checkup I asked my pediatrician when I should start potty training my son and he wrote me a prescription for a chill pill. He said boys take longer to potty train than girls, so I should wait until like 2 ½ or 3 before I start. Oh good, permission to avoid it for a while longer, thank you GOD!

I mean, part of the reason I was shocked at the 20 month old potty training is because I couldn’t even imagine my son getting it this early. Was her son a prodigy? He must be.

And then my mind was blown the other day when my son ran into the bathroom and said; “I want potty! I want potty!” 

Excuse me?

Come again? 

Did I hear you say you wanted to KILL ME?

So of course I sat him on the potty for a few days and got nothing but giggles. Ok, he’s not ready. But then, he did the unthinkable before bath time, HE PEED IN THE POTTY! OMG, He’s a prodigy, too! He’s the smartest baby in all the land! 

And then he did it again the next day before bath! And then he did it AGAIN on the third day at the Children’s Museum – a public bathroom with no potty seat cover!! Smartest. Baby. Ever.

And then… well and then he totally stopped peeing in the potty. 

He says he wants potty, but when I pull his pants down he arches his back and tries to stand up, landing his feet in the toilet a couple times. UGH. What is happening here? Is he over it already? I don’t want to turn him off of potty training by pushing him too soon. 

When seeking advice on the matter I get varying degrees of opinions. Some will say he’s too young, just let him do it when he’s ready. And boys take way longer than girls. If that’s the case and Leo is going to take longer than Annabelle he’ll be going to Kindergarten in Huggies. 

Or you’ll get the no nonsense moms who say since he’s expressed an interest I need to lose the diapers NOW and go cave man style for the next 3 days, never leaving the house until he gets it. 

"Call me lazy, but I don't want to have a toddler running around diaperless for three days while we lock ourselves indoors." 

The other day I was telling a new friend about my potty training woes and how Leo has had a few potty successes. She said both her boys were trained cave man style by 2 years old and it’s B.S. that boys take longer, and her friends that don’t PT their kids until 3 just don’t want to deal with the mess any sooner. They’re essentially lazy, that was the takeaway I got. I sank in my chair as I one thousand percent identified with her lazy friends. And dear God, why did I divulge to her that Annabelle had been in Pull Ups for nearly a year? Her eyes popped out of her head and I felt the cold chill of mommy judgement washing over me. My ears pinned back as I explained how it’s all the Internet’s fault for telling me to give it a year. 

Call me lazy, but I don’t want to have a toddler running around diaper-less for three days while we lock ourselves indoors. Perhaps this is the best method. Perhaps the feeling of shit and piss going down your legs as a 2 year old is the best lesson in potty training quickly. I don’t know, but I do know that seeing a pile of poo on my couch scares me shitless (ha!) and I don’t want to deal. Maybe I’m doing it all wrong by not pushing too hard. But honestly, all I’m praying for is that my kid turns out to be a potty training prodigy that just PT’s himself. Wouldn’t that be wonderful, moms? I think that’s something we can all agree on…
These days I’m a stay at home mom waffling with the decision to keep being a SAHM or go back to work. I’m straddling the fence so much it’s beginning to chafe. Ow! I mean, really, I just want to go back to work and make a brag-worthy paycheck, wear super cute clothes, say smart things, and go to Mexican for lunch with my co-workers. The problem with this is that I don’t want to actually go to work or wake up before 7:00am. Annnd I’ll be sad to leave my little guy in daycare about the time when he starts walking and talking a little. That’s when he will become more fun! So for now I’m just a SAHM enjoying time with my 3 year old daughter Annabelle, and my little man Leo who is the cutest, smiliest baby boy in all the land. FACEBOOK | TWITTER | BLOG

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